By DAVID OSTRO                   September 4, 2001
VANCOUVER, B.C.

Just like Freddie Krueger, the rumours of Michael Jordan’s comeback will not die. It’s been more of a soap opera than a thriller, but the number of victims in this story is worthy of Wes Craven. I cringe at the very thought of the blood sport that this misdirected script has created. But just like watching any good horror movie, we cover our eyes and peek between spread fingers at the same time. We can’t NOT watch.

Let’s start by saying that this carnage is not Michael’s fault. He craves the spotlight and we love putting him in it. It’s our imagination, like the panic that results from a serial killer on the loose, that turns a few pickup games into a comeback. We created the comeback monster. He actually gets some revenge by keeping us guessing and keeping basketball - and himself - in the news during a very slow off-season.

There is little doubt that Michael is capable of playing and contributing to making the Wizards a better team for the next couple of years. But, like in any horror flick, the question is not, ‘How will it end?’ it’s ‘Who will get it?’ and ‘How much blood will there be?’ So for all of you horror fans, I won’t bother with the ending, whether he can be the player he was, or if he can he go all the way, etc. That’s all conjecture anyway. The effects of him playing again, who will get hurt and who gets away unscathed is really why we watch, anyway. So, if you’ve got your popcorn ready...

Michael Jordan - VICTIM - The greatest player of all time has already lost some of the image and mystique surrounding his career due to the rather suspect way this return has been handled. By waiting to announce if he’s coming back until after all of these ‘secret’ practices, he shows doubt and a lack of commitment. Coming out and saying ‘I’m back’ and working his tail off to be ready, would have shown a real desire to play and that he truly loves to be out there, giving it his best, regardless of the outcome.

Instead of an inspiring, altruistic motive, we’ve got this ‘I’ll-be-back - if-I-won’t-embarrass-myself’ crap. With that, he’s proving that the only reasons for a comeback are financial (see ‘Washington Wizards’) and/or ego (see ‘Media’). To make matters worse, he’s even hedged his bets by coming up with rather convenient injuries and conditions that give him a ‘too-much-to-overcome’ excuse to get out of the whole mess.

The Media - SURVIVOR - Nobody gets more from this whole episode than the media. Already, hundreds of articles and thousands of sportswriters’ hours have been devoted to what would otherwise have been a very slow off-season. Thank you Michael, for providing us with material to read and write. It was particularly appreciated to offset the anemic (albeit stabilizing) free agent season created by the luxury tax. Once the real season starts, it doubles the sports coverage, with reports on what happened in the NBA augmented by coverage of what Michael did each night. NOTE: NBC receives its own space in the credits and moves to the top of the survivor’s list, heads and shoulders above anyone else, if he’s crazy enough to return. Since it would double their regular season ratings, forget the Wizards front office, Michael becomes president of NBC and a major shareholder for his efforts.

Washington Wizards - SURVIVOR, BUT WOUNDED - They get a sold-out arena, 11 nationally televised games on NBC, the sale of lots of #23 team jerseys, possibly even a brief playoff appearance. It jacks up the value of the team. On the court, Michael would be inspirational and help develop his young teammates.

In the longer term, the extra wins hurt their draft position. Michael’s presence gives their young players fewer minutes. If this is the only way he can think of to improve the team, then not only should he not come back; he should retire as team president. He appears to be a better front-office man than that, having gotten rid of all those deadwood contracts and making a bold move, with a view to the future, in drafting Kwame Brown.

Charles Barkley - SURVIVOR - Sir Charles got to pretend, for a little while, that his return to the league was actually possible. Working out with and linking his comeback to Michael’s gave him credibility. The seriousness of the injury he sustained and his lack of condition never really made it a serious possibility, though. If Michael is wise and doesn’t return, the Round Mound’s efforts at coming back become even more laudable and his failure excused, since even Michael couldn’t do it.

The NBA - VICTIMS - After the damage it would do to himself and his own image, Michael’s return most hurts the NBA. Rather than having had any transition, as they had from the Bird/Magic era to Michael’s, the league had to start from scratch when he retired, to build on the images of its young stars. They have begun to create their own identities and shown progress in coming out from under Michael’s shadow.

Michael proved that a great player could carry a team. This had the somewhat negative effect of others emulating him. Many players took on a selfish attitude and hurt their teams, because they couldn’t do it all by themselves. The thing is, Michael understood the importance and the roles of the others on the team and gave them respect for what they did. Equally important than his points, that is why they, in turn, respected him.

Those trying to imitate him didn’t understand that aspect and came up short. But we’re now seeing the turnaround. In Philadelphia, Allen Iverson starts respecting his team, showing up to practice, on time, and voila, they’re in the Finals. In L.A., Shaq and Kobe stop squabbling and - presto! A two-month winning streak. Michael’s comeback would again make young players want to ‘be like Mike’. They’re better off being themselves.

The Fans - VICTIMS - Overall, Michael’s return would be a disappointment to those who watch and love the game. There would certainly be flashes of the old Michael, and those who could afford to pay the hugely inflated scalpers prices when the Wizards came to town could say they saw him one more time. There would be far more images of Michael being blown past for a jam by Allen, Vince, Tracy, Kobe, or any of a dozen other younger, faster players. We would be subjected to clips and photos of him having the ball swatted back in his face. Like the gory bludgeoning in a trashy film, every one would be shown in slow motion and from a dozen angles. It would also forever change history. The legend that is Michael would no longer have the storybook ending that is virtually unparalleled in the annals of sport. He would never again be viewed as having gone out winning the championship on his last shot. His exit would now be an image of a shot clanging off the rim, with a hand in his face, in the first round of the 2003 playoffs. Suddenly, a fairy tale becomes a horror story...