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PLAYGROUND BASKETBALL
STREETBALL (return
to streetball front)
Playground Basketball
By Junior
Marx
Originally posted Nov 6, 2000
There is a lot to the game of
basketball. Whether it's sinking a 3 point shot, or
driving to the hole for a difficult lay-up, there is
much more to the game than meets the eye. Playing ball
with four other men or women takes endurance, stamina,
and team-work. The professionals we admire also need
to demonstrate skill, poise, and good sportsmanship.
Strategy and planning are also big factors in completing
a well played tournament.
However, from a pre-college and college sense, things
are seen differently. Playing out in the park, Boys
& Girls Club gym, or community college court, the above
attributes are not yet important. Three other things
need to be learned prior to engaging a career with the
NBA.
1. Looking GOOD
2. Showing up your opponent
3. Talking trash
This is recommend to be done in order. Talk all the
trash you want, it does you no good if your socks are
pulled up to your knees and your gym shorts reflect
the vintage '70's. Also, looking like your Micheal Jordan
reborn, is no excuse for a silent, weak game, of getting
stomped by the 5'6" rich kid from up the block. In other
words, lets start from the beginning.
1.Looking Good -- Should fit your own personal tastes,
color schemes, eye shadow...whatever works best with
hair or extracurricular allegiance should suffice. No
booty socks for the guys, nor should your under-footwear
be long enough to reach your armpits. Men, keep in mind
your audience; you should come across as mighty, invincible,
sexy, and poetic all at once. Likewise, women should
tie their hair back to avoid blundered steals and unsightly
tripping. Also, bear in mind YOUR audience. You need
to be sexy, able to maintain composure, and flow with
the grace of a swan, without ever perspiring.
Quite a demand on both parts, so start planning well
ahead of the tip off.
2. Showing up your opponent -- Meaning you'd better
have SOME game. Or, at the very least, LOOK like you
do. Keep up with your man or protect your zone with
your full attention. Don't be afraid to try a steal
-- look like your making a whole hearted attempt even
if you know that a call to 911 is in the very near future.
Another thing. Call those fouls. Do not be the one that
gets steam rolled over, brushes themselves off and limps
back to there position saying," good play." Being a
dominator in the game will prove your knowledge of such.
Not to mention -- pissing off other opponents tends
to throw off their game, making you look even more skillful.
3. Talking trash -- The ultimate skill needed for the
game today. Without this ability, you are lost. Your
posture will collapse, your self-esteem will diminish,
your game will suffer. You will end up looking like
El Grande Chump in front of who knows who. Run that
mouth when you make that perfect assist. Ask them what
you name is repeatedly when you rob them for The Rock
and their wallet. (Not a betting reference) Let them
know where you stand on every fouled play and missed
pass, and shun away those few times a mistake comes
your way with a typical," Yeah, Whatever You Say."
With that, you should be on your way. Heed the above
well, lest you be ridiculed for the rest of your now
shortened basketball career; before it even began! I
will expect nothing less, now, from our future super
hoop stars. Go now... and win.
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