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By M.J. Darnell

The Happy Couple

How many NBA coaches could use a forward that averages about 18 points and 6 boards a game, and also had three-point range? And what if that same guy was the extremely rare individual that also loved to play hard-nosed, physical defense and never shortchanged his team with a lack of hustle?

Ron Artest is no longer just a hothead. He is no longer just a good defender, no longer just a good player. Ron Artest is now a star.

People questioned how he would get along with Rick Carlisle. Artest had a propensity to pick up technicals and flagrants like Damon Stoudamire picks up his roach clip. But aside from one minor preseason incident, it's been smooth sailing. I don't know if Carlisle and Artest spend weekends together roller skating and knitting scarves, but they've gotten along well enough to stay out of the headlines and on top of the NBA standings.

The Pacers are the league's best defensive team, allowing only 81.4 points a game. Jermaine O'Neal is almost a lock for 20 and 10 a night, and the bench is full of good role players and guys who can bury threes. Rick Carlisle did not have an entire summer to teach his offense, so while it isn't bad right now, it's only going to get better. The Pacers are probably the best hope the Eastern Conference would have in the Finals, and are only about one player away from being able to truly compete with the Lakers or Spurs.

The Law Needs Laid Down

If you're into "reality" TV, you've got to be loving the drama of the NBA head coaching fraternity.

On one side, there's the young buck millionaires who believe they know everything there is to know, and just want their paycheck and the ball with the game on the line.

On the other side are the coaches who actually do know everything there is to know, including the fact that the young bucks don't know a damn thing. What they want is to teach, to be listened to, and to be respected, things that don't always fit into the plans of the young bucks.

It's an ongoing conflict, and it came to a head this week. The young bucks are clearly winning. Guys like Doc Rivers and Bill Cartwright and being run, not because they can't teach basketball, but because they've "lost the team," i.e., no one wants to listen to them. What happens is, instead of being made to listen, the players know that if they just hang around for a while, eventually, it will be the coach that's fired, not them. And then the next guy comes along, and in two or three years, the entire situation repeats itself.

The coach's authority is not undermined by the size of their paycheck in comparison to the paychecks of the players. Every player on every team, despite the size of their bank account, knows that they need a coach. A coach's authority is taken away when the players know that they can get him fired by simply not listening.

The next time an owner or a GM has a head coach that they feel is a good coach, but isn't getting through to the players, something has to be said. The GM needs to walk into the locker room and have a little talk with the youngsters. "So-and-so is the head coach of this team. He knows more about basketball than you can even fathom, and he is not going anywhere. You will listen to him, and you will respect him, or you will find your sorry ass on the bench, every... single... night. While on the bench, you will not be putting up all-star numbers, and the media will make you out to be a problem child with a bad attitude. That will not be good for your long-term career worth. So I suggest you listen, because this man is not going anywhere. Thank you for your time."

The MJD All-Stars

A look at MJD's All-Star ballot, along with a glimpse inside the intricate decision-making process.

Western Conference:

Guards: Steve Francis, Quentin Richardson

Gary Payton's been tremendous in L.A. so far, but looking at the centers, there's no way I can not vote for Shaq, and there's also no way I'm voting in two Lakers. I wanted to vote for Flip Murray, but the fine people at the All-Star offices didn't think he was deserving of even appearing on the ballot. Among those who do, however: Derek Fisher, Bobby Jackson, Troy Hudson, and Bonzi Wells. Makes sense.

Forwards: Tim Duncan, Zach Randolph

Zach Randolph deserves to be an All-Star, not only for his production, but for the fact that he's a Portland Trailblazer and hasn't been arrested in a few months. Kevin Garnett may also be deserving, but the Timberwolves have been so disappointing so far this season, it's hard to reward anyone on that team.

Center: Shaquille O'Neal

After taking a few minutes to search for reasons not to vote for a Laker, I'm resigned to the fact that it's just got to happen. Erick Dampier does lead the league in rebounding, I suppose, but living with the knowledge that I voted for Erick Dampier as an All-Star starter would probably send me straight into heroin addiction.

Eastern Conference:

Guards: Baron Davis, Allen Iverson (Billups, Redd) Easy decisions here. Two MVP candidates, and the league's two leading scorers.

Forwards: Ron Artest, Vince Carter (Jermaine O'Neal, Carlos Boozer)

Vince Carter is clearly deserving, averaging over 24 points a game. I've already discussed Ron Artest. It's hard leaving off the best player on the best team in the East (Jermaine O'Neal), and I'd like to show some love to Carlos Boozer, an underrated and important player in Cleveland. Shareef Abdur-Rahim is also having a nice year, but there's only room for two. Also appearing on the ballot: Antonio McDyess, Scottie Pippen, Corliss Williamson, and Antoine Walker, who is not a Celtic, not in the East, and certainly not an All-Star.

Center: Ben Wallace

Well... who else is there?

I'm Down with Kwame Brown

Something about Kwame Brown makes me want to root for him. He was a guy who was as unready to be a professional as anyone has ever been, and there he was on draft night, being named the next savior of a franchise and having to fit in with Michael Jordan and Doug Collins, two of the most overbearing personalities in the NBA, if not in the universe. All of this while struggling just to be an adult, let alone an NBA superstar.

I was sure that, freed from the shadow of the legendary MJ, Kwame was going to flourish this year. It hasn't happened. Not yet, anyway.

So far, he's only been about a half a point and one rebound per game better than he was last year.

So the question now is how badly he was screwed-up by the Jordan/Collins administration, and if there's enough left of him to succeed under Eddie Jordan. Those first two would have taken their toll on anybody, and the hope is that the self-doubt that he was filled with during those years will disappear with a new head coach and a fresh start.

So far, the results are not there. But the season is young, in fact, so is his career. My hope is that he is still too young to be the player he talented enough to be, and not too scarred to be the player he is talented enough to be.

Knicks? Too Good

I've grown to hate the Knicks. Not because I have anything in particular against the organization or the players, but because when they're on TV, you can count on it being an absolutely brutal two hours of television. The last time so many marginally-talented people were on TV so regularly, P. Diddy made a band out of them.

And Antonio McDyess is supposed to save this team? Come on now. I like Antonio McDyess, but when he's completely healthy, he's a borderline all-star. He's an excellent player, possibly a 20 and 10 guy, but he's not putting anyone's franchise on his back, not even with a perfectly healthy knee.

And that knee, the same one that's seen more surgery than every breast that's appeared in Playboy over the last five years combined, is supposed to carry the Knicks back to respectability?

Unlikely.

The Knicks are in a bad situation. They're four games under .500, but unfortunately, the Miami Heat and Orlando Magic exist, so their chances of finishing dead last, even without McDyess, seem slim. And their chances of making the playoffs, with or without McDyess, are even slimmer. All of which leaves them in the same exact place they've been for years - terrible, but not terrible enough to be in a position to draft a real difference maker. To quote Charles Barkley, "They no good."

- M.J. Darnell, www.themightymjd.com