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By M.J. Darnell

See the first half of this week's Throwing 'Bows.

THE MIGHTY 10

1. Dallas. It gets harder to pick a #1 every week. Ultimately, the big win over Sacto (the eighth of nine straight) gets them the 1-spot, and I'm not doing to hold a loss to the Jazz against anybody.

2. Minnesota. A loss to Golden State, however, does get held against you.

3. Sacramento. A convincing win over the Spurs on Thursday night. Really, these top 3 are a toss-up. And if you e-mail me whining about the ranking of any of these three teams, I'm going to tell you the same thing.

4. Indiana. Deserved two All-Star starters, but only got one. How the hell did they lose to Washington? Oh well. Still the best team in the East.

5. Memphis. Rattled off 8 in a row, including wins over the Rockets, Lakers, Kings and Nuggetts, before inexplicably losing to the Blazers.

6. Detroit. They put up 106 against the Celtics. Thank you Danny Ainge for removing all defense from the team and replacing it with no offense. Shrewd.

7. Houston. Yes, they're three spots behind a team they recently beat, but they've also dropped two straight, including one to Miami. Memphis is hotter right now, but this is probably the best team in the West outside of the Big Five.

8. New Orleans. Mash is back with plenty of time to right the ship heading into the playoffs.

9. Milwaukee. I wanted to put them ahead of New Orleans in recognition of their unexpected success, but they went head-to-head on Wednesday night and came up short.

10. Lakers. I can't really drop them all the way out of the Top 10, but I did want to put them as low as possible because with Shaq back, they're on their way back up.

THE MEEK FIVE

25. Washington. They gave up 104 points to the Magic.

26. Philadelphia. Hurting. Getting healthy will help, but they still won't approach .500 this year. Fortunatley, that doesn't preclude them from contending for the playoffs.

27. Orlando. The worst record in the leage still, but they've caught fire recently, winning three of their last ten. McGrady pronounced recently that he's "got his swagger back." That's terrific. Enjoy swaggerring all around that cellar, buddy.

28. Atlanta. Because he's now the longest-tenured coach in the East, I've heard the name Terry Stotts way too much lately. Just hurry up and sell the team so they can fire him and get it overwith.

29. Chicago. Just a half game back of the Magic for the worst record in the league. Keep plugging away Bulls, you can do it.

MAILBAG

Q. Yo Mighty, another question for ya. Whos is a bigger (expletive deleted... eh, let's say 'jerk'), I. Thomas or D. Ainge? - Danks, Gorham, Maine

Tremendous question. I think Jim O'Brien might disagree with me, but I've gotta give the edge to Isiah. I think Ainge is doing a better job of killing his franchise, but the bigger (expletive deleted)? You can't do Don Chaney like Isiah did and not be a huge (expletive deleted). Although I'm sure it wasn't completely unprovoked, O'Brien did walk of his own volition, whereas Chaney was made to suffer in public while his boss laughed it up on Letterman. Hard to top that.

Q. (Magic, Michael, Larry, Shaq, Duncan) is probably the most called starting 5 that would be written down. That doesn't mean that I also agree with the selection. It is really hard for every bball-addict but I would certainly see some different names. First of all, with your article named "throwing bows" ,where the .... is Sir Charles? Exit Duncan (he'll have his chance getting is these kind of voting the next 3 decades). Secondly, I wouldnt see Shaq or Hakeem at center, put #50 in that starting line-up. Shaq has a nice 4000 pounds to put on a chair, Hakeem gets 20 mins. As for Earvin, Mike and Larry, no doubt! Combine these 5 warriors and we'll have a monstrous passing-skyrocketing-3ptshootin'-boardcrashing-shotblocking army! Adios & keep up the good work! - Thijs Berends, The Netherlands, The Hague

What up, Thijs, and thanks for the kind words. David Robinson over Shaq? Come on now. I like the Admiral, but over Shaq? Robinson went for 21.1 and 10.6 for his career. Shaq goes for 27.3 and 12.1. I also just saw David Robinson on TV banging a pair of Thunder Stix together, which, as far as I'm concerned, is the weakest and most reprehensible thing any serious sports fan can do. So it's the wrong evening to be asking for some David Robinson love. As for Barkley over Duncan, I see what you're saying with Duncan being dominant for the foreseeable future, but the simple truth is that Charles's game just does not compare to Tim Duncan's. I also don't usually bring up the fact that Charles has no rings, but... Tim Duncan's got two, and he's earned them with less of a supporting cast than Charles had.

Q. Houston, they'll get back in soon! Good grief, they have won 6 of 7 two of whom were the best in conference record Twolves and Pacers. These two stay in, get praised, Houston falls out. What does it take to stay? Oh yeah, and a few weeks ago they beat those Lakers who were hammered and stayed in. Oh well, I suppose we are lucky that we do not have to rely on sportswriters for a playoff spot or we would never have gotten there, even in the Championship years. - Shari, Houston

Yeah, I know. I really don't have an argument in response, other than to say that I did note that I had no real reason to drop them from the Top 10. I only did it because I wanted to give some love to Milwaukee and Memphis, because who knows when they're going to go plummeting down the standings, and I'd hate for that to happen before I gave them their props. But Houston's back in the Top 10 now, and they've earned their spot there. By the way... I've never been called a sportswriter before. I can't say I'm too fond of it. I think sportswriter, and I think a cheap-cigar-smoking old guy wearing a urine-encrusted raincoat standing around with a rolled up newspaper complaining about all the disrespectful young whippersnappers in the game today. I'm not that guy.

Q. We here in the land of the Quacks love us some Yao. Heard an interview yesterday with Jeff Van Gundy, said Yao is too coachable and needs to be more ornery and mischevous. In a time of showboating, taunting, and general lack of respect for anything from the opponent to the fans, do you think there is such a thing as being "too coachable?" - Ducklover

First of all, thanks for writing. We so rarely get inquiries from the bestiality crowd. Too coachable? Nah... but I don't think Van Gundy really meant that. JVG's gone on record a number of times saying that Yao needs to get nastier on the block, and I think that's what he's talking about here, and he's right. That's why I think Charles Oakley needs to be a Rocket. Bring in Oak and have him slap Yao around in practice until Yao snaps and knocks out somebody's teeth with an elbow. I could not be more serious about this. If they don't want Oakley, I'll do it. Call me, Houston, seriously. I'll body him up, I'll learn Mandarin so I can talk about his mother, I'll goose him, I'll elbow him, I'll beat up his translator if you want me to. Someone needs to make it happen.

Q. What's the deal with Ron Mercer? I'm a huge Big Blue fan, and loved his game at UK...he was awesome there. However, since he's moved to the pros, he hasn't had the success I would have thought someone with his stroke would have in the brick layer's NBA. Finally, finally, I thought this was his year. With Duncan commanding a double team every trip down, Ron should be able to unleash his silky smooth mid-range jumper on opponents. Other than playing suspect D (which is a common ailment in the league, and therefore admissible) why hasn't this been a break out year for Mercer? - K.C in N.C.

Two things come to mind. One, nobody is going to have a breakout year on the Spurs as they are presently constructed. The Spurs are all about Tim Duncan being Tim Duncan and everyone else playing a role. They don't need or want a player that's going to break out into an offensive star. The other thing is his suspect D, and you're right, for a lot of coaches, it would be completely admissible. Gregg Popovich is not one of them. The Spurs don't have the offensive firepower of the Kings, Mavs or Lakers so they've got to have the best D in the league to compete. Having Ron Mercer on the floor makes that harder to do. He's been mentioned as a likely guy to be traded (the Pistons want him), but it's most likely just for his expiring contract. By the way, please send my warmest regards to the Sunshine Band.

Q. Yo MJD, I gots ta ask you. With the Worm now playing in the ABA, how long until a team gives him a serious look? And further more if he was picked up by lets say the Celtics, does this give the team immediate improvement or just another distraction for Danny "I have no idea what I am doing, though I'm glad 'Toine is gone" Ainge? Peace dizzogg for shizzle rizzle with a big fat dizzle. - Chris S., W.V.

The early word on the Worm is that he doesn't look so good. He doesn't have the legs he used to. And maybe it'll just take some time for him to get his jump back, and if he does, he'll probably latch on with some team for the stretch run. As for the Celtics picking him up... that, I doubt. It would more likely be a team like the Lakers who could use another body in the paint. The Celtics could certainly use that, but in their case, he's not going to make the difference in winning a championship or not, so why take on the sideshow circus that accompanies him? I certainly hope some team does, though. Rodman has vowed to strip buck naked before walking off the court in his last game, and that's something that we as NBA fans deserve to see.

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