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Feb. 16, 2004 |
Throwing 'Bows
By M.J. Darnell
Editor's note: Darnell actually wrote this just before
all-star weekend. We were late in posting it. But it's still got tons of great
stuff to read, about all-star weekends in general as well as current player and
team stuff.
The Only All-Star Game Worth Watching...
All-Star weekend is beautiful. Everyone complains about there being no defense,
and to that I say... So? I've got plenty of other nights to watch the Knicks and
Heat combine for 130 points, we can give the defense a rest for a day or two.
Let's get the best players in the world together, let them put their game and
their personalities on display, and enjoy.
The best All-Star event that the world of sports has to offer is the NBA's. No
doubt. Looking at the All-Star events of other sports, however, maybe that's not
something to be bragged about.
Do I even have to mention the Pro Bowl? A group of millionaires trotting down
the field at a pace quick enough to look interested, but slow enough to ensure
that injury is impossible, surrounded by goofy white men with microphones that
have felt the need to wear a Hawaiian shirt 24-7 and remind me every 30 seconds
that it's 80 degrees and clear where they are, while if I even set foot outside,
I risk losing an appendage to frostbite. Yeah, sounds great. If I ever get to
a point in my life where watching the NFL Pro Bowl becomes a priority, I will
then know that it's time to head to the garage, close the doors and windows, start
the car, and say goodbye to this cruel world.
The NHL actually does a pretty nice job. The skills competition was a good innovation.
If you're into hockey, it's probably fun to see who can skate the fastest, shoot
the hardest, or take the most bare-knuckle punches in the face without losing
any teeth. As for the game itself, it's just like real hockey, except no one really
cares. Which is fine, pretty much all All-Star games are like that. Where the
NHL kills itself is when it tries to add the same glitz as the NBA, but instead
of trotting out Outkast and Beyonce, they end up with the Barenaked Ladies. Not
that I have anything against the Barenaked Ladies in particular, but hockey's
strength, at least to me, has always been that it's not susceptible to the same
over-hyped, non-sports related garbage that plagues the NFL and the NBA. But they
don't play to that strength, and instead, they opt to just roll with the Barenaked
Ladies every year because they're the only people in the entertainment industry
that have ever heard of Joe Sakic.
The biggest problem with baseball's All-Star game is that they insist on playing
baseball. How entertaining could it possibly be?
So that leaves the NBA. And while the big game itself also features the same disinterested
play, there are some strengths. While the word defense is, for the most part,
considered an obscenity (but we'll see how that goes this year when both Ben Wallace
and Ron Artest are on the floor), it's at least a time for guys to show off. There
will be some sweet no-look behind-the-back passes. There will be thunderous dunks.
Guys will show off their new kicks. Ben Wallace will rock the 'fro. That alone
is enough reason to tune in.
And how many great moments have there been through the years because of the NBA's
All-Star weekend? The Jordan/'Nique dunk battles. Larry Bird abusing everyone
in the three-point contests. Magic coming back to win All-Star game MVP. The breathtaking
teal uniforms of 1996. These are legitimate classic moments in sports history.
Quick, name your favorite NFL Pro Bowl memory.
Peyton Manning talking about the liquored-up idiot kicker? Yeah, that's mine,
too.
So the NBA's remains the heavyweight champion of All-Star games. That said, I
think it could be better.
So if I was in charge...
The celebrity events and the events where an NBA player, a WNBA player, and an
old guy team up are about as entertaining as a Cops marathon. You might be amused
for about five minutes, but it's not long before you're just embarrassed for everyone
involved. I'd hate to deprive the world of seeing the electrifying trio of Marko
Jaric, Nikki Teasley, and Terry Cummings (yes, that's really happening this year),
but this sad little event has to go. It'll be about as much fun as watching Rick
Adleman count Vlade's chest hairs.
Replace it with a one-on-one tournament. Who wouldn't watch that? It wouldn't
even have to be big-name players for me to be interested. I'd be glued to the
TV for Jon Barry against Ricky Davis. Jason Williams against Rip Hamilton. Earl
Boykins against Cuttino Mobley. Rafer Alston against anyone. I wouldn't care who
it was, I'd watch. This is something I might even buy on Pay-Per-View. Get 8 or
16 guys, single elimination, and put some money on the line. Better yet, maybe
Nike or Adidas or someone would step up with an endorsement deal for whoever wins.
Anyone in the NBA without a shoe deal would be salivating.
The rookie/sophomore game is also a flawed concept. This year is an exception
because of 'Bron and Melo, but in most years, interest will be minimal. There
is no real natural rivalry between rookies and second-year players. But if you
had a group of 1st and 2nd year guys against a group of guys that were over 30?
There would be some pride on the line. Young Bucks vs. Old Schoolers. It's would
also be a sweet way to give some recognition to veteran players that are having
great years and helping their teams but aren't quite at the All-Star level.
This year's projected starting fives:
LeBron James, Flip Murray, Carmelo Anthony, Carlos Boozer, Yao Ming
vs.
Steve Nash, Nick Van Exel, Latrell Sprewell, Karl Malone, Vlade Divac
Would that not be more fun?
The voting process also has to be changed. I'm not saying the fans shouldn't have
a say... but when Steve Francis and Vince Carter are starting all-stars, there's
clearly a flaw in the system. Fan input is nice, but at the expense of leaving
a deserving player at home? I don't think so.
The change I suggest is this. Have the coaches vote for the entire All-Star Roster,
all twelve guys. Do it about two weeks before the All-Star game. Then have the
fans vote on the starters from the rosters already selected by the coaches. Fan
input is kept, and no one gets left behind unfairly.
David Stern, if you happen to be reading, feel free to use any of these ideas.
No charge.
Mark Cuban vs. Larry Brown
In any basketball-related argument between Larry Brown and Mark Cuban, Larry Brown
is an automatic winner. It's not a knock on Mark Cuban, I do like the guy, but
there are just certain arguments against certain people that he's simply not qualified
to win. If it's about basketball, and it's against Larry Brown, Mark Cuban is
losing every single time. It's the same concept that says Miles Davis could never
ever lose a musical argument against Kid Rock. That's just how things work.
But still, we'll discuss the issue. Mark Cuban doesn't want NBA players to play
in the Olympics, and Larry Brown does. And on some shallow level, I do understand
what Mark Cuban is saying. He's a businessman, and he's got to protect his bottom
line. That means protecting his players, which means keeping them from playing
for anyone other than the Dallas Mavericks. That's his prerogative. If he wants
to put it in his contracts that any Dallas Maverick can't play for their national
team while playing for Mark Cuban, let him. And we'll see how much longer Steve
Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, and Eduardo Najera want to be Dallas Mavericks.
So while I can maybe see Mark Cuban working, Larry Brown is right. International
basketball is good for the game, and it's good for the NBA itself. If NBA superstars
attract attention and inspire other countries around the world to put more into
their own basketball programs, it's not only a good thing for young athletes around
the world, it will eventually be good for the NBA, too. For Mark Cuban to acknowledge
that what the Dream Team did for international basketball was a very good thing,
and then to say it's no longer necessary is shortsighted and selfish.
Yes, the international doors have been opened. But not all the way. There's still
a relatively small number of players getting to the NBA from Africa, South America
and Asia. Am I to believe that there are no people in any of those continents
with the athletic ability to play NBA basketball? If more international exposure
provides more inspiration for more kids around the world, what's the price tag
to be put on that? How much is that worth? Is it more important than Mark Cuban
protecting his bottom line? Um, yeah.
I'd be interested to hear how Mavs fans feel about Cuban's statements. Cuban's
talking about his commitment to the fans, but what do they think? Would they rather
see Dirk and Nashie go at it in the Olympics, or would they rather both players
had a little better chance of staying healthy for the Mavericks?
The Mighty 10:
1. San Antonio. Heating up. Winners of five straight, including their biggest
win of the year against Sacramento last Friday.
2. Sacramento. Rip Hamilton on Peja Stojakovic: "Wow, the guy shoots like Larry
Bird." Not a bad compliment. Best record in the league, and still waiting on Webber.
By the way, go ahead and put Peja's name on the three-point contest trophy again.
3. Minnesota. Also waiting on some help in Szczerbiak and Olowokandi. Hard to
imagine that they wouldn't get out of the first round of the playoffs this year,
but... stranger things have happened.
4. Indiana. Cruising right along. It'll be interesting to see how much MVP attention
JO gets as the season goes on.
5. New Jersey. Winners of 10 straight probably deserve better than the 5-spot,
but... it would take a miracle to unseat any of the big three out West, and also
keep in mind that as hot as they've been, they're still a full seven games back
of Indiana in the East.
6. Dallas. Won 7 of their last 10, and still fell from tied for 2nd last to 6th
this week. Why? A loss to Atlanta. Ouch.
7. Memphis. Have won five of their last six, including a big win over Minnesota.
An exciting young team. And congrats, Grizzizzle fans, on the franchise record
for wins.
8. Houston. Record identical to that of Memphis, and Yao's performance against
the Lakers was manly. Can they keep things going in that direction?
9. LA Lakers. Kobe and Rick Fox are back in the line-up. The Mailman is expected
back in a couple of weeks. Is now the time that the Lakers start to pull things
together? Next five games on the schedule are all very winnable.
10. Denver. Every week, it seems like Denver is hovering around the 10-spot. Sometimes
they make the cut, sometimes they don't. This week, they get the nod.
The Meek 5:
25. Boston. Somehow, Danny Ainge may miss out on winning the Executive of the
Year award.
26. Philadelphia. See the 25th ranked team up there? They beat the Sixers by 30.
When there's talk of trading Allen Iverson (huge mistake), you know things aren't
going well.
27. Washington. See the 26th ranked team up there? They beat the Wiz by 25.
28. Phoenix. Gave up 32 points on Wednesday... to Brian Cardinal. I don't mean
to slight The Custodian, I love his game, but come on... should he be dropping
32 on anyone?
29. Orlando. Lost 7 in a row, and still not close to approaching their longest
losing streak of the year.
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M.J. Darnell runs www.themightymjd.com.
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