It's hard to imagine the intensely sane Kobe Bryant channeling Britney Spears. But, oops, he did it again.

For the second time in less than six weeks, the franchise frontman for the Lakers got himself suspended by the Lords of Discipline, known in casual circles as the League Office.

NBA Vice President of Bad Behavior Stu Jackson sat Bryant down (again) for flailing his shooting arm, which resulted in Marco Jaric getting whacked in the nose. No foul was called on the play by any of the three officials who were presumably also present at the Target Center, but Jackson, on the proverbial Day After, waved his magic power stick and punished the Laker star anyway.

If you haven't followed the story, it also comes with two subtitles. One is called: Does Kobe Do It on Purpose?, which talk radio shows then extrapolate to ask excitedly...Is He a Dirty Player? The alternate subtitle is: Why Does That Mean Stu Suspend Him When The Striped Shirts Don't Even Call a Foul on the Play?

The eye-watering moment in Minnesota on Tuesday came 37 days after Bryant was suspended on an almost carbon copy play on Jan. 28 in Los Angeles. That afternoon in Staples Center, Manu Ginobili blocked Kobe's shot from the side and behind, pretty much the way Jaric did, only to have Kobe flail out, presumably to call attention to a possible foul, a familiar Kobe tactic. Turns out instead of drawing a foul, Bryant drew blood on Ginobili. And now ditto on Jaric, too.

Thus is born a new NBA adage: block Kobe's shot, you risk having to ask your trainer for a Kleenex.

Not that Manu's prominent schnozola couldn't use a little rhinoplasty, but at the rate Kobe's going, he's going to have a promising second career as a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Doctor to the NBA Stars. Surgeon to Shooting Guards.

Now that you've waited patiently for my take on all this, here it is. In 5 Easy Pieces:

1) What Kobe does, throwing out his arms like he's trying to wave down paramedics, is not a natural basketball act. It's an offensive foul. But it's not entirely uncommon in the league, either. Other guys do it, too, because all good NBA scorers are also good actors, and even the best refs are fooled every night by Oscar-caliber, foul-faking performances.

2) It's hard to understand how a no-call on a Tuesday is a suspendable offense on Wednesday. Therefore...

3) If the refs call nothing, the NBA is overreacting by suspending.

4) Bryant can afford one game without pay. Heck, he can afford playing for free for the rest of his lifetime and those of his children and grandchildren. But it's awfully unfair to fans who buy tickets that cost as much as their car payments, only to have the only reason they came in the first place--to see Kobe Bryant--taken from them by some faceless, all-powerful suit in his 5th Avenue office making a call his own refs couldn't, or wouldn't make. I mean, how would you like to pay $250 to watch Smush Parker? Ask the fans in New York and Milwaukee, they already have.

5) And this last one could be a reach, but why do I get a sense the New York-driven League Office kinda has it in for the Lakers? Is it Phil's smugness? His 9 rings? Kobe's arrogance? His 3 rings? Or is the League Office just pissed that the Knicks haven't won anything since Willis Reed limped onto the court the year Neal Armstrong walked on the moon? (OK, they also won in '73, but the point is the Knicks last won a title when Nixon was leaving office, so New York has every right to its inferiority complex.)

Meantime, the injury-depleted Lakers are now a train wreck. Once 13 games over .500 at 26-13, they're now only four games over at 33-29 and going fullspeed in reverse. Darrell Green never backed up this fast in his best days with the Redskins.

And now their superstar and famous nose rearranger Kobe is probably even a little more paranoid today, figuring someone at headquarters has it in for him.

Raising one last question: Do they?

Ted Green is Senior Sports Producer for KTLA Prime News and a former L.A. Times sportswriter.