I just realized.
Browsing ISH is the same as watching CSPAN.
This place is like Congress, but for real people.
Two parties going at it, repeating the same points over and over.
Kobe fans are the Republicans.
They're religious ("how great is our Gawd"), and mostly immune to reason, facts and logic.
They're individualists who are into the myth of the solitary cowboy fighting against the system.
They cherish their constitutionally protected right to "shoot first".
Their sexuality is complex, with a fascination for manliness.
They are more likely to distinguish between different types of rape.
LeBron fans are the Democrats.
They believe in empirical evidence, but understand nothing of the science behind it.
They like sharing and distributing possessions.
They are somewhat less fanatical, but also more boring and uninspiring.
They're opportunistic frontrunners who lack the courage to stand up for their beliefs.
Those two impose their agendas on others, forcing everyone to talk about the issues they're interested in, so fans of other players would generally be moderates/apolitical/whatever in this argument.
With two exceptions.
First is Euroleague. Euroleague is clearly a radical left-winger. He wants to fight for the smaller league guys and elevate statues to the average player. He likes to pretend he's European even though he may actually come from Arkansas.
Second is Jlauber. Jlauber is - and this comparison is so obvious I'm sure it's crossed everyone's mind already - Jlauber is Ron Paul.
A lone voice preaching in the desert.
An old, articulate and educated basketball conservative.
A guy who likes to present long-winded, factually-based arguments in an era of witty soundbites such as "UMAD".
A man of principle who always fights for his ideals, to the point where you sometimes wish he wouldn't.
A broken record with a remarkable ability to stay on message.
For one, everything is about the Constitution. For the other, everything is somehow about Wilt Chamberlain.
And in the end, the trolls always win