Why my dad is a loser

[Prometheus]

From the time I was born, he visited me every Sunday.

One day when I was 2yo, he just stopped. I have no memory of those days, so to me it is like he never existed back then.

Growing up (with no memory of him from when I was a baby), I would often get confused and ask my mom "Other kids have a mom and a dad... do I have a dad?" She said yes, and had one picture of him she used to show me, but she would never explain it beyond "he's not here." I knew he wasn't dead, but I was confused.

One day, when I was nine, my mom told me to get in the car because I was about to meet my dad. Apparently he decided he wanted to be in my life again - at the time I was only confused and excited.

Now up to this point, you're probably thinking he moved far away. I come to find out he had been living three miles away for all those years. No one ever told him he couldn't come see me anymore. He just stopped.

Can you imagine letting your only son grow from ages 2 to 9, living three miles away the whole time, and missing all of it? His explanation is that "your mother and I didn't get along, and I didn't want to put you in the middle of that". How f*cking lame is that?

And get this. Years later, he actually admitted to me that it was only under pressure from his wife (now ex) that he even came back into my life at all. She found out AFTER they got married that he had a son living one township away. And she basically told him she would leave him if he didn't reach out and come back into my life.

Pathetic.

I don't have kids yet, but it's gonna be soon. Nothing is more important to me than making sure I am not like him - making sure I am there for my children to see them grow, and to help them in every way a father should. Even if, god forbid, things don't work out between me and the mother. Nothing will stop me from being in their lives and experiencing their childhoods.

Shout out to all the stand-up fathers on ISH. I admire you. Thank you for not doing what my pitiful father did.

[SomeBlackDude]

Now up to this point, you're probably thinking he moved far away. I come to find out he had been living three miles away for all those years. No one ever told him he couldn't come see me anymore. He just stopped.

...

She found out AFTER they got married that he had a son living one township away.

yikes.

no offense but dude sounds like a grade-a piece of shit deadbeat. sounds like you dodged a major bullet not having trash in human form like that in your life. in the end, it was prob for the best.

[Edgar Friendly]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kkcbxjWG9Mc

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wEB29IXUbxQ

It's going to be ok bro..

[Prometheus]

yikes.

no offense but dude sounds like a grade-a piece of shit deadbeat. sounds like you dodged a major bullet not having trash in human form like that in your life. in the end, it was prob for the best.

He was in my life from age 9 up until my mid 20s. The desire to have a relationship with him was really strong... it took a long time for me to realize that I was better off without him. And there were more key moments over those years which revealed his true colors. It would take a while to get into all of it, so I won't bother. The most important shit is in the OP.

[highwhey]

sorry to hear you have a bad father. you seem like a solid dude despite tho.

he sounds as neglectful as stalker, but at least he worked for a living.

[Shogon]

You call me an atheist, but now it makes sense, at least in part, as to why YOU are an atheist.

Our views on God/the idea of a god are almost always directly correlated with our parental relationships.

[Shogon]

sorry to hear you have a bad father. you seem like a solid dude despite tho.

he sounds as neglectful as stalker, but at least he worked for a living.

stalker doesn't seem neglectful whatsoever... he's always there... but he does seem abusive, teaching his kids about how great Kobe was, etc...

Clear brainwashing going on in the forlife household.

[1987_Lakers]

My parents also separated when I was 2, but my Dad would still come and pick me and my brother up around 3-4 times a week, he treated us well, he was the parent who would buy us new clothes/shoes, take us to get haircuts, take us out to eat, sleep at his house on Saturday nights, always reminded us that he loved us. He could do no wrong in our eyes.

It wasn't until I was around 10 when he got his green card taken away for drug dealing and he was deported to Mexico. I always wonder how different my life would have been if he was still in this country. I visited him in Mexico 3 times after he got deported as a teen and we got along good, but I haven't seen him in person in 10 years.

We still keep in touch, he calls me once in a while and I can hear it in his voice how much he misses us and how lonely he is. I just don't have the urge to visit him, not because I have any hate towards him, it's just like "Why bother?". It may sound cold, but it is what it is.

[SomeBlackDude]

he sounds as neglectful as stalker

justin would never abandon his kids like that. put some respeck on that father.

[Prometheus]

You call me an atheist, but now it makes sense, at least in part, as to why YOU are an atheist.

Our views on God/the idea of a god are almost always directly correlated with our parental relationships.

I'm not an atheist though

[Prometheus]

My parents also separated when I was 2, but my Dad would still come and pick me and my brother up around 3-4 times a week, he treated us well, he was the parent who would buy us new clothes/shoes, take us to get haircuts, take us out to eat, sleep at his house on Saturday nights, always reminded us that he loved us. He could do no wrong in our eyes.

It wasn't until I was around 10 when he got his green card taken away for drug dealing and he was deported to Mexico. I always wonder how different my life would have been if he was still in this country. I visited him in Mexico 3 times after he got deported as a teen and we got along good, but I haven't seen him in person in 10 years.

We still keep in touch, he calls me once in a while and I can hear it in his voice how much he misses us and how lonely he is. I just don't have the urge to visit him, not because I have any hate towards him, it's just like "Why bother?". It may sound cold, but it is what it is.

I think the answer to that is that he earned it by being a good father when you were a child. You're being selfish - maybe it wouldn't change much for you in your own life, but paying him a visit once-a-year or so would probably being him more joy than you can imagine. He sounds like a good guy. You should help give him the fulfillment he deserves.

[highwhey]

stalker doesn't seem neglectful whatsoever... he's always there... but he does seem abusive, teaching his kids about how great Kobe was, etc...

Clear brainwashing going on in the forlife household.

you guys eat up whatever he says, so gullible

you think a dude who pours piss on himself and uploads a video of it to youtube is doing good parenting? i'm sure he volunteers at his school after he cleans up himself.

if i had a parent that didn't show me a good work ethic, i'd be neglecting parenthood. collecting welfare is neglect. poor kids.

[Shogon]

I'm not an atheist though

Saying that we are all God/the universe itself is God is basically the same thing...

[ROCSteady]

When I first started reading this, I thought it may be something like one of those Star Wars related hoax personal stories but then I’m like, damn. That sucks. Was your father paying child support for being that close?

That’s kind of like how Terrell Owens grew up except his dad lived like right across the street and TO didn’t know for years that was his biological dad

[Prometheus]

[QUOTE=ROCSteady]When I first started reading this, I thought it may be something like one of those Star Wars related hoax personal stories but then I