Most Embarrassing Stories/Situations/whatever.... let it out

[catzhernandez]

If you can't talk about it here, where can you talk about it?

So it's 2014 and I'm in Ohio (locked up), and this dude and me are running a poker table. Lucrative, good, solid table. Honestly, one of the best tables that compound had ever seen.just good money, you win you got paid on time, everytimw. With no hassle. You lose, we expect the same. Ran into a few headaches (prison is full of dickheads, go figure), but all in all it was smooth.

Well, we ran the table for all of 2014, 4 or 5 days a week, prolly a total of 36 to 40 hours over those days. We got it in. I was a great house man, quick with the numbers (it was a lot limit game since it was mixed between Texas and Omaha), so you gotta be quick. And I was. Played solid cards, and with a 10% rake off of every hand we were killing it. Some weeks making 500 bucks profit. Excellent money for prison. There's overhead, like cards and pops and snacks (gotta provide all of that if you're gonna cut these people's money), but we made ours. That being said, there's no excuse other than greed for what I did next.

Several months in, a buddy of mine showed me how to set the deck up. "Cold deck" is what it's called. I would take a quick break from the table, take an extra deck of cards, picture where everyone is sitting at the table, line up hands accordingly, and put the cards back together in order. Go back to the table, do a couple of fake shuffles with this new deck (no one ever noticed), and let my buddy cut the cards to my right, but not put the cards together, and with no one paying attention , I'd just put em back how they were.

Whew, anyways, make a long story less long, I got carried away. It's now February of '15... My buddy that showed me left, and I was so proud of this fantastic ability, I just had to bring someone else in. I needed a new accomplice. So this little black dude Myron is up big one weekend, and my buddy steve (whom I brought in the fold) was down. Perfect. I set the deck for Myron to catch kings full, while Steve rivered a straight flush. Epic right? No, stupid. It worked... Myron got it all in and lost. Steve cripples him. All is well, right? Wrong. Steve begins thinking after the game apparently, begins wondering if I've done this before... He recalls an incredible, similar hand that crippled him one week, and realized (correctly) that I had gotten him in the same fashion before. How could I be so dumb and arrogant?

Well, two days later he spills the beans. Holy God was I scared. It's prison and I've basically been robbing people who facking liked me enough to give me their money for a year. Wow.

Shit started rolling downhill, some of my homeboys (guys from my Indiana car) began to approach me telling me to fix it or go up top (go to the hole). Ughhhhh. So I was forced to fix it. Had to shut the table down, be labled as a cheat for my last 15 months and pay back almost 200 dollars. I was ashamed. Still am.

But hey, prison isn't full of good guys, lol...

[ZeN]

How long were you locked up for? Does that explain your prolonged absence?

[catzhernandez]

How long were you locked up for? Does that explain your prolonged absence?

5 years and 9 months. Definitely the reason.

[Nilocon165]

Layed the ball back in on the wrong hoop in a tight playoff game

I hit 4 straight free throws at the end to seal it though.

[catzhernandez]

Layed the ball back in on the wrong hoop in a tight playoff game

I hit 4 straight free throws at the end to seal it though.

Lol. I remember we had a kid do that on my team, I think it was 8th grade. We grinded him up forever on it.

[Nilocon165]

Lol. I remember we had a kid do that on my team, I think it was 8th grade. We grinded him up forever on it.

It was awful. I couldn't bring myself to look up because I felt so ashamed. I make fun of myself a lot for it now though.

[catzhernandez]

A lot of embarassong situations can be viewed the same way, thankfully.

I've had several embarrassing situations on here, actually. I was looking a lot of old thread by me up the other day. And more often than not I kept saying to myself, "did I really say that?"

[catzhernandez]

A lot of embarassong situations can be viewed the same way, thankfully.

I've had several embarrassing situations on here, actually. I was looking a lot of old thread by me up the other day. And more often than not I kept saying to myself, "did I really say that?"

Did I really say that?

SMH