So I walk into a sports collectibles shop here in Cleveland looking for an autographed Jim Brown jersey. Sure enough they had one! I got so excited that I started to shit my pants. "Were's the bathroom!?" I shout.
Store owner points to it and I run back there. Sure enough, there's no fvcking toilet paper. I run back out, explaining the dilemma, and the owner says "I'm all out of TP, but I have some newspaper you can use." I can't sell these papers for shit, so someone might as well get some use out of them!" This life saver hands me two whole newspapers and I rush back, reliving myself just happy to have something available to wipe my ass.
I come back out feeling very relieved. I complete my purchase happy as can be.
I had to snap a quick pick before I decimated those poor newspapers. And no you sick bastards, I didn't take any after pics.