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Old 10-02-2019, 10:39 PM   #1
egokiller
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Default Whoa boys that was a close one!

So I walk into a sports collectibles shop here in Cleveland looking for an autographed Jim Brown jersey. Sure enough they had one! I got so excited that I started to shit my pants. "Were's the bathroom!?" I shout.

Store owner points to it and I run back there. Sure enough, there's no fvcking toilet paper. I run back out, explaining the dilemma, and the owner says "I'm all out of TP, but I have some newspaper you can use." I can't sell these papers for shit, so someone might as well get some use out of them!" This life saver hands me two whole newspapers and I rush back, reliving myself just happy to have something available to wipe my ass.

I come back out feeling very relieved. I complete my purchase happy as can be.

I had to snap a quick pick before I decimated those poor newspapers. And no you sick bastards, I didn't take any after pics.





















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Old 10-02-2019, 10:44 PM   #2
Turbo Slayer
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Nice clever shot at us. But there's one flaw in your 'story' if you wipe your poop, you are supposed to throw it into the trash can right? You and I have standards, man. Improve yourself. Jesus Christ. And who would bother taking a pic after shitting your pants? It makes no sense.
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:45 PM   #3
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:46 PM   #4
Smoke117
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account

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Old 10-02-2019, 10:47 PM   #5
Turbo Slayer
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:49 PM   #6
RRR3
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:49 PM   #7
AirBonner
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:52 PM   #8
Jameerthefear
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account
OH NO
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:53 PM   #9
SpaceJam
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account

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Old 10-02-2019, 10:54 PM   #10
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by SouBeachTalents
Sounds like what happened to your Straight_Ballin account



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Old 10-02-2019, 10:56 PM   #11
egokiller
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

What happened to straight_ballinís account? This is about me taking a shit on Lebron memorabilia that the shop owner gave me because no one wants it.
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Old 10-02-2019, 10:57 PM   #12
Turbo Slayer
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

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Old 10-02-2019, 11:00 PM   #13
egokiller
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Turbo Slayer
Nice clever shot at us. But there's one flaw in your 'story' if you wipe your poop, you are supposed to throw it into the trash can right? You and I have standards, man. Improve yourself. Jesus Christ. And who would bother taking a pic after shitting your pants? It makes no sense.

I did throw it in the trash because that’s exactly where it belongs. I snapped a pic because I knew you lefail stans would claim it didn’t happen. The best part in all this is how mad you are that I wiped my ass on something you’d love to have.
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Old 10-02-2019, 11:01 PM   #14
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

Literally no one thinks this story happened.

Try harder next time, slugger.
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Old 10-02-2019, 11:02 PM   #15
Turbo Slayer
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Default Re: Whoa boys that was a close one!

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Originally Posted by egokiller
I did throw it in the trash because thatís exactly where it belongs. I snapped a pic because I knew you lefail stans would claim it didnít happen. The best part in all this is how mad you are that I wiped my ass on something youíd love to have.

Love you, anonymous poster. Have a great day. Imma log off.
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