2014-2015 Premier Predictions, Rankings AKA The Thing I Eventually Stop Updating

[Pistol Pete]

Lasted longer than expected.

I have a rammed schedule but the power rankings will be back this week. Perhaps this may be the final edition of the season, perhaps not, I do know these will be the all knowing, unified premier league power rankings.

Myself and Glove have spent hours running through the data, combining his advanced algorithms with my intuitive, old school approach to give you an irrefutable look into the TRUE rankings of premier league basketball.

Stay tuned, these will be glorious, and they cannot be disputed, Glove's computer system is spectacular and it was an honour to get to see it work it's magic first hand. I have never been more proud of a set of rankings than I am of this upcoming edition.

Getcha popcorn ready...

[Pistol Pete]

1. TysonChandlerParsons (Two Weeks Ago, #9)

Well, a lot has changed since I updated this last. I was high on this roster and since then, he has ripped off a 14-4-0 stretch including a dominating win over a recently stacked Pocahontas roster. What has changed? Well, a blockbuster saw Jimmy Buckets arrive, and Joakim Noah on his way out, but mostly, the supporting cast that failed him for the first 3-4 games has finally decided to show up and give his main core solid contributions. This team is deep, steady, and talented

[Pistol Pete]

8. Big Poppa Pumpin (Two Weeks Ago, #12)

Well, health is certainly a vital thing in fantasy sports. A team that couldn't buy a win has gotten some people onto the court and two quality wins have followed for a 11-7-0 mark. Unfortunately, just as he starts making some progress, Roy Hibbert and Carlos Boozer have joined George Hill on the trainer's table. Still, this has been a very positive turn and a worthy bump in the rankings. I have questions about the roster and it feels remarkable that a team with only 4 top 100 players is getting wins, but somehow it's been working. Chris Paul is an animal and Roy Hibbert has been huge in a rebound year. Big Poppa Pumpin gets sizz this week, so despite the injuries, this is a golden opportunity to pick up another big win.

9. Rameek's Year (Two Weeks Ago, #4)

Well shit, from 1st place two weeks ago to 12th place today after two punishing 7-2 losses summed up to an ugly 4-14-0 stretch. I still am a fan of this roster, but Blake Griffin needs to turn it around in a big way if this roster is going to rebound from recent struggles. LaMarcus Aldridge, Kyle Korver, and Rudy Gay continue to carry the load while Darren Collison appears to be one of the better draft picks made in the league this year. Bradley Beal has stepped in from injury and given Rameek's Year some quality production, but more is obviously needed from the whole cast. Addressing the end of his roster with some savvy pickups could be a big way to get more help, currently, the bottom 3-4 guys on this roster not doing quite enough.

10. Dream Team (Two Weeks Ago, #3)

It began with a shocking 6-3 loss to Big Poppa Pumpin. Perhaps his team was too well rested? Was there chemistry issues because Brandon “The Dark” Knight (that's wacist) didn't like passing to his teammates and was bombing layups for the win? Everyone has a bad week though, so given the history of the powerhouse Dream Team, everyone assumed a 7-2 or 8-1 win versus winless, inactive sizz was coming. But not so fast! Sizz turns the table on Glove_20, by employing a genius benching strategy (benching a 15/10 big and a 8/6 top 100 stat stuffer for injured Jose Calderon and 5/3 Javale McGee), who could have expected this strategy to lead to a win in rebounds? I don't blame Glove_20 for not seeing this sneak attack coming. Sizz rested his players all week, and the increase in morale from that rest pushed him to a shocking 5-4 win. Not all is bad for the Dream Team though, despite two of the worst losses of the season, an even 2-2 record on the year, he still clings to relevance with his 5th place position in the league standings. Things get rough this week as he goes against powerhouse Pocahontas. This roster has been borderline crippled by the loss of Terrence Jones and Ricky Rubio, while the black hole that is Andre Drummond (that's wacist) is an early contender for worst draft pick of the year. Stephen Curry is a monster, and Danny Green has provided a nice boost recently, but I question the critical analysis of this manager and his ability to correctly and objectively sell on certain players whom are unlikely to sustain current production. If losing continues, trade prices will need to come down, or else Glove_20 will need to accept his fate of missing the Premier League Playoffs.

11. DZW (Two Weeks Ago, Not Ranked (#13))

Well, what a difference a few weeks makes. This manager wasn't even in the league but DZW kicked through that door and nobly took on a huge challenge. In typical DZW fashion, all he does is win. I'm not quite sure what's happened but an 11-7-0 stretch versus two solid teams in Team Fournicator and iamgine actually did occur. Is it disgraced managers OJ Mayo vision coming to fruition? Probably not. But this roster is proof of what intelligent, methodical planning (by DZW) can do for results. Somehow this roster sports 10 top 100 players, many recent adds whom are all anchored by the prodigy Damian Lillard. As he continues his meteroic rise, inquiring minds (Pistol Pete) want to know what will happen when DZW wins the league title. A typical humanitarian, and a total sociopath move, DZW will “donate” the winnings to a charity of his choice, then post fake receipts and spend the money on Korean BBQ, lottery tickets and backyard c ock fighting bets. Typical Asia.

12. G-Train (Two Weeks Ago, #10)

Well, this is most certainly the most unfair ranking given out this week and I'm not sure a drop this low is truly deserved. A respectable 9-9-0 stretch against two solid teams is nothing to be concerned over, and this roster is still talented. Kevin Love and Goran Dragic are killing this roster right now and the likes of Draymond Green, Chris Bosh, and Isaiah Thomas are trying to keep it in the win column. At the end of the day, G-Train will have some difficult decisions to make if his early round picks aren't working out. Speculative trades like the one TysonChandlerParsons made where you can 'buy' a career breakout for a young player may be the way to recoup lost value of Dragic (and Love if he doesn't get back to his 1st round production).

13. Go Mamba @NavidsWorld (Two Weeks Ago, #11)

The only roster that has yet to get a win after sizz pulled off an unbelievable victory over Dream Team. I hated the Gasol for Kobe trade and I question whether selling “high” on Jimmy Buckets was in fact selling high (and if Noah was the right player to sell him for). This team has certainly been crushed by the fact that Nicolas Batum and LeBron James simply have not been up to par. But at some point, adjustments need to be made and expectations need to be altered. Right now, this team simply isn't good enough. I don't like the blend of players and despite a decent amount of talent, I think adjustment is needed if this team is going to turn it around.

14. Sizz (Two Weeks Ago, #14)

Well, on the bright side, sizz actually managed to pick up his victory of the season. But on the other hand, who did he really beat? A non contender. Sizz implemented an odd strategy by benching PJ Tucker and Greg Monroe the entire week. I guess he felt his guys needed a rest and a week off versus a weak opponent like Glove_20 was a worthwhile time to do it. It almost backfired as he nearly lost rebounds but perhaps rather fortunately, his opponent was not even able to beat his 10 man roster. If more wins follow, a rise from the #14 spot will follow. But for now, this is the official sizz ranking spot.

[statman32]

1. Always SELL on Bird being a top 3 team
2. Jeff Green is only a surprise to people who don't have access to games in Amsterdam.
3. Iamgine needs a better Imagination when building a squad. The league has caught on.
4. Pocahontas died very young, expect Sky's season to do the same.
5. Those recent injuries will work themselves out, it it too bad that it will result in a mass drop of players from DRAKE's injury prone team.
6. "creepy, sociopath, serial killer, troubling, sick, vile, twisted, dirty, unclean, aggressive, impure, inappropriate rookie infatuations" - That about sums it up.
7. Someone needs to call 911 on 313 because he flat murdered his championship chances with the Durant/Dwight combo.
8. Big Poppa Pumpin better start pumping those injury prone guys if those guys ever come back.
9. Savvy pickups? Rameek? LOL
10. 20 spots too high.
11. 20 spots too low
12. I was going to try to type something clever, but like his home country, G-Train's team is straight B-O-R-I-N-G.
13. Doesn't matter where his team finishes, LeBron + Kobe = SWAG CHAMPION
14. Came up with the brilliant strategy of benching Greg "no one wanted him in free agency" Monroe for Jose "Toronto's finest" Calderon AND doesn't move up. I smell BIAS.

[Bird]

1. Always SELL on Bird being a top 3 team
2. Jeff Green is only a surprise to people who don't have access to games in Amsterdam.
3. Iamgine needs a better Imagination when building a squad. The league has caught on.
4. Pocahontas died very young, expect Sky's season to do the same.
5. Those recent injuries will work themselves out, it it too bad that it will result in a mass drop of players from DRAKE's injury prone team.
6. "creepy, sociopath, serial killer, troubling, sick, vile, twisted, dirty, unclean, aggressive, impure, inappropriate rookie infatuations" - That about sums it up.
7. Someone needs to call 911 on 313 because he flat murdered his championship chances with the Durant/Dwight combo.
8. Big Poppa Pumpin better start pumping those injury prone guys if those guys ever come back.
9. Savvy pickups? Rameek? LOL
10. 20 spots too high.
11. 20 spots too low
12. I was going to try to type something clever, but like his home country, G-Train's team is straight B-O-R-I-N-G.
13. Doesn't matter where his team finishes, LeBron + Kobe = SWAG CHAMPION
14. Came up with the brilliant strategy of benching Greg "no one wanted him in free agency" Monroe for Jose "Toronto's finest" Calderon AND doesn't move up. I smell BIAS.

I've only finished one premier basketball season and was never top 3 there......so it's too early to buy or sell my top spot.

[D.Z.W.]

Thanks for the great PR Pete, but this better not be the last one
This is way too good to end after just 1 month

Rank #11 is about right for me at the moment I think

[Pistol Pete]

Teaser alert, probably will release an update tonight in lieu on the quitter.

[Rameek]

Teaser alert, probably will release an update tonight in lieu on the quitter.

It's about time some real PR's are coming... As long as you and Sky alternate every week its all good. I know you have a busy schedule so your time and diligence is appreciated.

[Pistol Pete]

Alright, haven't written these in 6 weeks so just disregarding old rankings, partially because the formatting takes time and I'm lazy and want to pump these out. Without further delay,

1. Pocahontas – Finally got over the injury bug and reaping the benefits of basically nuking the league earlier this year in his veto deals. This team will go as far as the core of Gasol, Cousins, Lowry, and Irving can carry them but Pocahontas has done well to surround with strong secondary pieces. His turnaround (26-9-1) definitely came during the weakest part of his schedule but I don't see this team slowing down and safely lock it in as a playoff team and title contender. I think he is on his own tier and there is a relatively severe drop off after him. Don't choke Richard.

2. Big Poppa PUMPIN – Among the top 5, the only one consistently getting results. Count me among the non believers as I just don't really enjoy the roster from a personal standpoint, but hard to argue with results, and wins in 6 of his last 8 weeks including a win over the #1 team in this ranking. Chris Paul is having an underrated Chris Paul season, returning top 5 value with no buzz. This team has clearly found a nice balance after struggling super early on with injuries. It'll be interesting to see if it can be sustained in the second half of the year. For now, a well earned #2 spot due to consistency and quality performance.

3. Team Fournicator – Survived his death battle with the Dream Team 2 (Glove_20) and earned a quality 5-3 win in a match that was much more competitive than a normal midseason clash. This team is still a bunch of puppies surrounding the gross output of Anthony Davis and Klay Thompson but those rookies have started to turn it on lately and the results have followed. With the very recent trade of Timofey Mozgov, the savvy pickup of Jusuf Nurkic looks like it could pay off in a major way and give Team Fournicator an ideal Robin to Anthony Davis' Batman. If the kids get hot at the right time, this team is title worthy. I'm not sure if Team Fournicator even realizes it (I'm pretty sure he doesn't cause he's dumb), but his strategy will pay off the most as teams start shutting people down and the rookies get more run. History tells us this manager has never been competitive enough to reap those benefits but maybe this is the year the stars align.

4. Keep Floatin – Coming off back to back losses but the first (5-4 to yours truly) was extremely unfortunate and the result of a horrific shooting Sunday. The most recent, a 7-2 smackdown was likely the result of some scheduling, some Jodie Meeks going ham, and a bad stylistic matchup. Keep Floatin has been hovering around the top of the standings and had some nice foresight to dupe a less experienced manager to taking on the future corpse of Carmelo Anthony for Rajon Rondo (and maybe other stuff but I'm lazy). Most recently, Keep Floatin flipped the trio of Gortat, Parker, and T. Young for Dirk Nowitzki. I question this fit greatly as Nowitzki derives his value from FG/FT/TO and Keep Floatin borderline tanks 2 of the 3 (FG/TO). It's too early to declare it a mistake, and it will be interesting to see how the results come in the next few weeks, an important match versus his trade partner TysonChandlerParsons kicks off this week.

5. TysonChandlerParsons – Was cruising at the top of the standings, team was looking strong, then the injury bug hit, tried to make some trades to compensate (mistake), lost some value (mistake), lost focus of what was making his team great (mistake), and has since struggled to turn it on (winless in the last month, 0-3-1). This team continues to ride MIP Jimmy Butler in an impressive and alarming fashion. The recent trade to ship out Dirk Nowitzki should provide some much needed depth and support, whether he's identified a proper balance is a question, but I strongly agree with the idea that he needed to bring in some depth to shore up his team, his supporting cast (like in the start of the season) hadn't been getting it done lately. The next 4-6 weeks will decide his season and it was definitely time, for better or worse, to make a move. No glory in 5th-7th place, FLAGS FLY FOREVER.

6. Rameek's Year – The hot and cold team of the year, when he was written off after a brutal five week stretch, Rameek's Year has silenced a lot of people with a stellar 17-10-0 and 3 quality wins (two over people ranked in the top 5 of this PR) to jump right back into the playoff picture. He gets an absolute layup this week facing sizz before heading into a showdown with #1 ranked Pocahontas. It will be huge if Rameek's Year can take a 6-3 or 7-2 win off sizz prior to that bloodbath. This team is sneaky deep (Teague, Korver, Gay, Griffin, Chandler, Aldridge) are all easy top 50 players and Darren Collison has been thus far and is showing no signs of slowing down. The Jeff Teague trade was absolute gold and it'd be scary if Blake Griffin ever ramped it back up to last years top 25 production. If Rameek's Year can get any top 100 production out of his bottom ~5 players (Lou Williams has been rock solid) and Cole Aldrich was a sneaky good add in a tanking Knicks season, watch out, because while the core carries the team, the supporting cast wins leagues and this team is not far off when it's healthy.

7. DETROIT VS EVERYBODY – With a severe change in roster over the last 6 weeks, the artist formerly known as 313 essentially ditched his preseason path to title and opted to gun for a new route. The early results have been promising, a 13-5-0 stretch over the past two weeks, but buyer beware on that fact as DETROIT VS EVERYBODY has faced probably the two most tailor made matchups in the league for him. With ten top 100 players, the roster certainly does not lack talent, but it will need Kevin Love to return to 1st round form if it wants to make a sustained run. In the next few weeks, if I managed the team, I'd be tempted to scale back the threes to address other needs if the excess production continues. Otherwise, potentially a trade of a Dwyane Wade who isn't an ideal fit for the roster, or set it and forget it and see how the strategy plays out for the next month before making more adjustments.

[Pistol Pete]

8. D.R.A.K.E. - A sputtering team who has been unimpressive over the last 4-6 weeks, partially due to injuries to Kawhi Leonard, Andrew Bogut and Demar Derozan, but partially due to lack of depth and an inability to find a proper mix of star talent and quality supporting cast. It will be a huge boost whenever the injuries subside and will provide a clearer look at where this team stands, but as this continues, playoffs are out of the question. A small shakeup recently has yet to pay off as Derrick Rose has had historical struggles with his jump shot, but if the slide continues, bigger changes will come. This team is nowhere near title contention and will need to make a move at some point if titles are the aim. Titles ARE the aim, and changes WILL happen.

9. The Slinger's Den

[Attila]

Good stuff!! Really do appreciate it!!

[Rameek]

Sizz team healthy even without Sherif setting the line up can arguably be better than 11 to 13 ranked teams. I can see how his team can lose only 4-5.

[GP_20]

Just wanted to make it clear, I am not a quitter and never had the intention of quitting. I tried my best last week because I did not want to quit this league. But since I am a man of my word, I still ended up leaving because thats what I said I'd do.

Nonetheless, if anyone still wants free fantasy basketball advice PM me!

[Attila]

Just wanted to make it clear, I am not a quitter and never had the intention of quitting. I tried my best last week because I did not want to quit this league. But since I am a man of my word, I still ended up leaving because thats what I said I'd do.

Nonetheless, if anyone still wants free fantasy basketball advice PM me!

You are a quitter if you quit doe

[D.Z.W.]

Amazing PR's as always Pete
I agree that Sky is definitely the strongest team in the league atm.

And appreciate the kind words