Do you have a support system?

[BigBoss]

Be it friends, fam, a girl, etc. How does it help you. If you dont, how do you deal with life.

I'm coming from a place where I had fam and a girl. Now everyone is gone, be it death, distance, or breakups. Sometimes I say fk it i don't need anybody, but other days it can be a lot. I got a lot on my plate this year with goals. I've cut out all the bs, quit drinking, partying, deadweight friends and being irresponsible with my money.

[CelticBaller]

alphas don't need whatever you call this gay shit

[ThatCoolKid]

Yes, I talk to my mother every other day.

[BasedTom]

Alcohol.

[MadeFromDust]

Prayer. Only God is your true friend

[BigBoss]

alphas don't need whatever you call this gay shit

I'm a masters student in psychology. Yes, they do. I'd go as far as to say people are beta because they lack a support system, or did not develop in formative years to their potential due to the lack of a good one. Everyone needs help in this world and should help others, otherwise you have a gigantic ego, and the ego ultimately will limit your potential due to stubborness/narcissism and a false sense of one's self image.

[BigBoss]

Prayer. Only God is your true friend

I meditate whenever I have a moment. I started doing that last year, and got in tough with my inner self. It was a humbling moment. Sometimes I interpret it as discovering God, others day I try to rationalize it as just a different form of consciousness. Whatever it is, it helps a lot. It's helped me find my path and accomplish a lot of goals/ cut out the bull shit by allowing me to think clearly. I'm quite spiritual now.

[BigBoss]

Alcohol.

I cut it out 6 months ago. Maybe one day i'll drink moderately, but right now it does nothing for me except waste my time and slow me down.

[Phantom_Blue]

I can relate, in my early 20's had a longtime girlfriend, lots of real life "friends", and then a job where I got along with all my co-workers.

One year all that disappeared and I became really depressed. After alot of reflection I started to realize how much I hated myself and pretty much lived for others approval.

"I have nothing to live for?" Well why the **** is it not enough to live for "myself"?

I also realized that this "support system" I had was fools gold. It was a support system built around me being a "fake" person. No wonder when I started having problems, they were nowhere to be found.

I don't think we need a support system as much as we need just one person that knows how to "listen" and be empathetic, not sympathetic and just genuinely give a shit about your well being.

These are usually the mentors we hear others talk about, it really is a special type of a person.

I haven't met one of those yet so I usually just look for inspiration in others whether they be celebrities, or historical figures, read about different philosophies, take what works for me, and kind of become my own mentor.

Don't get me wrong though, I think we still need others to reach a certain level of happiness.

But it sounds like OP already knows this, get your own shit together before you start trying to forge relationship because you "need" attention.

[BigBoss]

^You sound a lot like me. I get inspiration the same way. I believe the more i develop personally, those needs I have will be filled to because i'm doing it the right way. I have good and bad days like everyone else. The bad days really suck because there's no support system, but it's teaching me self discipline. In the past I would have force the issued because as you said it was for attention, but that's not the right thing to do. Let things just come to you naturally and not depend on that or anybody. In the long run it's for the best, and those needs will fulfill itself the more i grow as a person. Good post thanks for sharing. The 20's suck.

[oh the horror]

Sometimes a little alone time is the best support system you can have in the long run. Develop a sense of self because a GF and various other factors are fleeting. Gotta develop the happiness from within

[BigBoss]

Sometimes a little alone time is the best support system you can have in the long run. Develop a sense of self because a GF and various other factors are fleeting. Gotta develop the happiness from within

I hear you. Began that journey just this past year.

[D-FENS]

^You sound a lot like me. I get inspiration the same way. I believe the more i develop personally, those needs I have will be filled to because i'm doing it the right way. I have good and bad days like everyone else. The bad days really suck because there's no support system, but it's teaching me self discipline. In the past I would have force the issued because as you said it was for attention, but that's not the right thing to do. Let things just come to you naturally and not depend on that or anybody. In the long run it's for the best, and those needs will fulfill itself the more i grow as a person. Good post thanks for sharing. The 20's suck.

The 20's don't suck. Everyone in this thread is right on one way or another. The guy that called you a beta is right, in a way, but don't take it to heart.

I am a successful and happy person in all areas of my life and I am going to give you some key life advice.

- Work out. Every day. Run, swim, bike, gym, ball, yoga, do something. It makes you feel great.
- Talk to people. Old people, young people, black people, white people, people that are into stuff you're not into. Make connections and listen to others.
- Join a team or organization you are into. Being around other like-minded people will inspire you and give you more energy to tackle shit like school work.
- Eat well, but don't totally restrict yourself.
- Look after the way you look e.g. wear clothes that make you feel confident, not whatever the latest fashion is.
- Focus on positives. Get negative shit out of your system straight away. Example: I was biking the other day and was almost wiped out by a reckless driver. I cursed the guy out at the red light and took off. Man, that felt damn good. Then I focused on the positive, he didn't drive down the road and kill me. Never linger on negative interactions, and if you have negative feelings get them out and focus on good stuff.
- Stay in touch with the family and friends you do have. Even if it's a letter or call to your mom and grandma.

I swear, doing these things will make you feel good. And trust me on the talking to people thing and being part of a group. No matter who different you think you are, there are a lot of similar minded people out there waiting to be your friend.

I forgot to add, the 20's were the best for me. That's when I racked up all my sports achievements, education, and ladies. Don't sweat anything in your twenties buddy - it's all positive stuff. Sex, parties, flexible schedule. Enjoy it.

Your 30's are basically, wedding, kids, huge financial commitments, totally inflexible schedule for most

[JEFFERSON MONEY]

Unless you want to live your life like a stoic hermit freak I highly suggest you recognize that interdependence and intimacy are extremely important components of well-being.

I"ve done the stoic loner thing. For many, many years. And practically every winter. Whatever productivity or introspection is achieved from solitude pales in comparison to the lack of joy you get when you're not sharing good times with others.

I've got a pack of friends who I discuss things with before doing funner stuff. Yes, grown ass men talking about feelings and life. How gay right? Not. It helps to know you're not alone and provides great reference to whatever demons may haunt us.

There's always a good idea and the fresh feeling of being recharged after heading towards life again. Brotherhood if you may.

I don't burden my family or my FWB's. It's better for the former to be fun and mission-oriented and the latter to be sexually charged and romantic. Last thing I want to do is add more baggage to my parents/siblings life or that of a woman's life.

D-Fens great tips but you seem to be highly centered on aesthetics and did not offer any spiritual, travelling, intellectual, or creative tips in staying positive.

[rezznor]

Hookers and blow