ISH writing project: LeBron James Romantic Comedy

[Ass Dan]

It just hit me today, like a ton of receding turds, few people have been a bride's maid more than Bran, FOUR TIMES. This is the stuff that romantic comedies are made of.

I will get it started...

LeBron had everything, a great job on a top team, all the talent in the world, great teammates, a great house in one of the hottest cities on the planet, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get that ring. No one was a better catch than Bran but for some reason he just couldn't make it work, no matter who they surrounded him with, so Branny thought it was time for a change, so instead of staying in Miami he decided to move back to CLEVELAND to find his destiny and get his cherished ring.
Going from one of the most fashionable cities to a dying midwest flyover seems crazy, but maybe crazy is just what Bran needs to get his ring...

[JT123]

[AnaheimLakers24]

Bron than went 2/6 and let the world see his small dick. His game is as ugly as his sinful looking wife. I **** hotter girls than bron

[Ass Dan]

Prologue. The pre-decision

D Wade is so lucky, surf, sun, Shaq, Riles, rings, LeBron thought to himself as he sat outside the lonely Cleveland cafe on this rainy afternoon in June. His chai latte was just beginning to cool beyond the point of drinkability when the waiter interrupted and said: 'anything else Mr. James, I am about to end my shift and need to close out all my unfinished work.' 'Naw, I'm good.' quipped Bran, but he really wasn't and deep down felt it was time for him to end his shift, and as for the unfinished work, well that would have to wait another day. bigger things awaited LeBron and Cleveland would not be the place to perform them. Sure he loved Cleveland, always has, it was home, well technically Akron, but who cares Northeast Ohio was where the heart was, till now... Cleveland was a dying town, and it was bringing LeBron down, not only the city but the fledgling basketball squad that mirrored the city's every ill-fated step, losing that factory, losing Carlos Boozer, that company relocation, that free agent going elsewhere, LeBron knew he was the best but he knew he couldn't truly shine without the brightest of lights and biggest of stars to carry him to the apex of his abilities.
That Paul Pierce is such a DICK, so is Garnett, f*ck those guys!!! Gimme a big three and I will kick their ass!!! LeBron thought as the rain began to fall harder and his thoughts got deeper. The playoff loss earlier in the spring really stung LeBron, it was supposed to be Bran vs Mamba in the Finals, but those meanies from Boston (so old, ugly and lacking in physical impressiveness) always seemed to ruin the show, and they treated LeBron with very little respect. I WILL GET THEM ONE DAY, he vowed as he slammed down the rest of his now cold chai latte, opened up his Burberry umbrella and ventured off into the pouring rain, and as the thunder roared LeBron realized it was time to make a decision about his future.

It was time to make THE decision.

[JtotheIzzo]

Prologue. The pre-decision

D Wade is so lucky, surf, sun, Shaq, Riles, rings, LeBron thought to himself as he sat outside the lonely Cleveland cafe on this rainy afternoon in June. His chai latte was just beginning to cool beyond the point of drinkability when the waiter interrupted and said: 'anything else Mr. James, I am about to end my shift and need to close out all my unfinished work.' 'Naw, I'm good.' quipped Bran, but he really wasn't and deep down felt it was time for him to end his shift, and as for the unfinished work, well that would have to wait another day. bigger things awaited LeBron and Cleveland would not be the place to perform them. Sure he loved Cleveland, always has, it was home, well technically Akron, but who cares Northeast Ohio was where the heart was, till now... Cleveland was a dying town, and it was bringing LeBron down, not only the city but the fledgling basketball squad that mirrored the city's every ill-fated step, losing that factory, losing Carlos Boozer, that company relocation, that free agent going elsewhere, LeBron knew he was the best but he knew he couldn't truly shine without the brightest of lights and biggest of stars to carry him to the apex of his abilities.
That Paul Pierce is such a DICK, so is Garnett, f*ck those guys!!! Gimme a big three and I will kick their ass!!! LeBron thought as the rain began to fall harder and his thoughts got deeper. The playoff loss earlier in the spring really stung LeBron, it was supposed to be Bran vs Mamba in the Finals, but those meanies from Boston (so old, ugly and lacking in physical impressiveness) always seemed to ruin the show, and they treated LeBron with very little respect. I WILL GET THEM ONE DAY, he vowed as he slammed down the rest of his now cold chai latte, opened up his Burberry umbrella and ventured off into the pouring rain, and as the thunder roared LeBron realized it was time to make a decision about his future.

It was time to make THE decision.

I see some 27 Dresses type shit here...