Okay, so I just pulled a number from a total dime, need rookie advice

[ArbitraryWater]

We aren't in high school anymore.

A cafe, maybe a restaurant with live music (not rock music), a park, a fair or festival (to show off your playful side)... I always had the best luck at outdoor shopping marketplaces (like the type in NOLA where people sell art).

Go somewhere you can have conversation, but also where there's something to watch (park is great for people watching) you can use to keep the conversation going if it becomes awkward. A park in an urban environment is the best. Offer to buy her a fruit slushie or something, have some drinks (the non-alcoholic kind) and sit outside in the sun (with sunglasses) so you can check her out.

good stuff!

[stalkerforlife]

If she hits you, will you call the cops?

[Overdrive]

True, gotta get a gauge on it.

But for the first two days or so, don't overdo it. It's like the same reason girls buy lingerie instead of just standing there butt ass naked... there has to be something there that keeps the mind wondering.

I'd limit the texts to maybe 5-10 or so per day unless you're getting the vibe she's the talkative type.

And ask questions...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOUg956XHpY

^^ Dumbest advice ever, but it works.

It's not dumb, asking questions shows genuine interest. Women respond to interest and not showboating unless she's a golddigger and you have enough money.

Don't go for the sunglasses. If she's abit insecure it might make her nervous.

[hateraid]

Dating is different in this day and age. I couldn't imagine communicating via text. But I guess it's the social norm.

My advice is don't over think it. Remember, she's a dime, a young one. Which tends to mean there's competition. Girls like a good challenge too. Be yourself with an extra touch of confidence and it will shine through. Show you can be different from other guys.

[FreezingTsmoove]

Thats ****ing creepy bro. she didnt even give you her number and you want to go right ahead and hit her up?

You say shes hot and young she probably has a ton of dudes hitting her up spitting the same lame game

Be different

Since your so focused on hitting her up, casually ask for her snapchat and then be done with it

Show her you have a cool interesting life through snapchat. If she stops viewing your stories shes not into you, if she does she is. After a few weeks start making commenta about her stories.

Be casual not creepy!!!!!

Real nikka advice right here. Remember 10/10s ARE TIRED OF THE SAME THIRSTY RANDOM GUYS DOING AND SAYING THE SAME THINGS.

[UK2K]

It's not dumb, asking questions shows genuine interest. Women respond to interest and not showboating unless she's a golddigger and you have enough money.

Don't go for the sunglasses. If she's abit insecure it might make her nervous.

Dumb in the sense it's basic...

But it works.

Just avoid touchy subject at first. Don't ask about her political beliefs or her job (which might suck). Ask about her goals, dreams, plans. Show that you're interested in the future.

[ArbitraryWater]

Thats ****ing creepy bro. she didnt even give you her number and you want to go right ahead and hit her up?

You say shes hot and young she probably has a ton of dudes hitting her up spitting the same lame game

Be different

Since your so focused on hitting her up, casually ask for her snapchat and then be done with it

Show her you have a cool interesting life through snapchat. If she stops viewing your stories shes not into you, if she does she is. After a few weeks start making commenta about her stories.

Be casual not creepy!!!!!

Real nikka advice right here. Remember 10/10s ARE TIRED OF THE SAME THIRSTY RANDOM GUYS DOING AND SAYING THE SAME THINGS.

?

I went up to her, asked for her number and she gave it to me.

As for your other stuff, yea, thx, not too much breaking news but appreciate it. And no, no snapchat.

[JohnnySic]

Just text and say "Hi".

[Akrazotile]

How did you meet her, and how forthcoming was she in giving you her number? Was she very bubbly and gung ho about chatting and getting together some time? If so, wait a few days but not too long before you text her. If she's very effusive and eagerly texting you at a good rate from the start, she's clearly already interested and it shouldnt be a hard from there.

Was she more intrigued/reserved about it, like 'hmm..... ok' as if to say "Imma gve you my number, but only to see if you can prove yourself further." If so, wait at least a week. Then shoot her a random text to say hi and see how she's doing. Dont try to sound cool, the delayed response will already send the message youve got other things going on too. Just talk to her normally and get a feel for your convo chemistry. Also dont get too carried away on the first convo, space your texts out throughout the day and just go over simple stuff - something funny that happened to you earlier, something you have your eye on relating to the NBA... Dont rush into "lets share all our details to see if we're a couple!" mode right away. Pace yourself and relax.

If you send the last text of the day then she responds to it the next day, she prob wants to keep talking so go for it, but again just relax and dont be too eager about it. If the convo simply wraps up on the first day, give it another week then text her and go through the basic greetings but then get to the point; "Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk on the phone?" Then call her and say, "So we oughtta try to get together soon. Ive got tickets (or a gift card, or an invitation, etc) to Activity X, would you like to come along with me?"


Also, Im gonna disagree about just asking questions when youre hanging out with her. Chicks love hearing a guy talk confidently about things he knows well. If it's an obscure subject dont drone on and on about it, but spend a bit of time in it. She wants to know you have hobbies and a life and are not just a couch zombie who gets no attention from other girls. She's already probably answering basic 'interview' questions with every guy she talks to on Tinder. Be different. If you are gonna ask questions to keep the convo going, ask random funny ones that she has to think about and hasnt answered before. "If you were a planet, which one would you be..." (If she makes the standard Uranus joke, youre gold. If you make it, it's over)


Most of all, dont sound like youre trying to figure out how to interact with a chick you want to date or hookup with etc. Act like youre casually pleased to have made a new friend and just treat her like a new random friend youre hangin out and havin some laughs with. Dont think ahead. Just enjoy whatever activity youre doing, and be warm and friendly but also show a little take-charge. Not easy at your age necessarily but itll come with practice.


Good luck.

[Akrazotile]

We aren't in high school anymore.

A cafe, maybe a restaurant with live music (not rock music), a park, a fair or festival (to show off your playful side)... I always had the best luck at outdoor shopping marketplaces (like the type in NOLA where people sell art).

Go somewhere you can have conversation, but also where there's something to watch (park is great for people watching) you can use to keep the conversation going if it becomes awkward. A park in an urban environment is the best. Offer to buy her a fruit slushie or something, have some drinks (the non-alcoholic kind) and sit outside in the sun (with sunglasses) so you can check her out.

Definitely this. Outdoors, and somethin that allows you to walk off any nervous energy. If you sit down at a coffee shop, it's gonna be obvious to people who can over hear you that its a "first date" and theyll start eavesdropping and youll feel uncomfortable.

Check out a farmer's market, some local festival, or just take a walk in the park with a couple of iced teas or smoothies (avoid a coffee bc if youre already nervous you dont want a lot of caffeine). Just be natural, be normal, and have fun.

[T_L_P]

Some terrible advice in this thread.

If you want her, AW, go to her father and ask for his daughter's hand. If he says yes pop the question to her in an expensive restaurant. I'm talking down on one knee and sh*t. If he says no, respect his wishes and move onto the next one.

Rinse and repeat until you get a yes. Trust me on this.

[longtime lurker]

Don't come onto ISH for dating advice. That's the best advice I can give you.

[T_L_P]

Don't come onto ISH for dating advice. That's the best advice I can give you.

I only posted a minute before you. Maybe you missed it?

[ArbitraryWater]

Good stuff, starface! (Although TLP's is better )

Most of it I kind of knew but good summary.. especially true on the 'just treat it as a fun relation' part..

It was, like, I tipped her from behind, spoke with a confident voice and looked her in the eyes while asking, she thought a sec, I added 'if you're single' she said yes and then told it to me.. I was kinda relieved when she was done and forgot I didn't ask her name yet, which she added herself then hah..

[Levity]

yeah wait a day. schmooze her over the weekend. make her laugh. but dont go hours ontop of hours of trivial small talk. instead, after a couple laughs, just bite the bullet and ask her if she wants to go out for a drink *insert day* and if she says yes, boom, youre good to go.

and DONT force small talk from then until the day of the hangout. leave sometime to be desired.