Selfish to curse off homeless person asking for money?

[Dresta]

I give homeless guys cigs when they ask. Us smokers gotta stick together.

[El Kabong]

I was wondering... what would you do if you saw a homeless person walk up to you in ripped clothes outside in freezing weather with a cup asking you for some coins? Would you have the guts to tell them to go stick it?

I was reading my facebook, and a girl from my HS that I used to know posted that she cursed off a "homeless bum" asking for money. She goes on further complaining saying that she has worked hard her whole life and now some homeless guy wants to take her money. Then I saw a bunch of people posting how she is right and 'liking' the status.

Is she hot? Hot chicks can post whatever they want on Facebook and have a ton of people agree with them and get likes.

[Dresta]

It's not necessarily selfish to curse out someone begging you for money, it's just called being an asshole. Though if you say no and they keep hassling you, then it is fair to curse them out.

[iamgine]

Giving is a privilege, the truly rich understands this.

[PHX_Phan]

She sounds like a cunt. Making a big deal out of a bum asking her for money. I guess when you come from a nice background you don't see homeless people very often, so this rare occurrence was worth a facebook vent.

Sadly, this mentality runs through a lot of people. I have a lot of friends and even family that grew up with wealthy parents and take for granted so many opportunities they've had that most people don't get in life. They feel as if everything they have in life was built solely on their own hard work, and anyone who is less fortunate is simply lazy and wanting a handout.

[Swaggin916]

I would wonder how they got in that position and how they can be satisfied with being out in that shitty whether.

But I wouldn't give them money.

[CeilingFan#1]

I was wondering... what would you do if you saw a homeless person walk up to you in ripped clothes outside in freezing weather with a cup asking you for some coins? Would you have the guts to tell them to go stick it?

I was reading my facebook, and a girl from my HS that I used to know posted that she cursed off a "homeless bum" asking for money. She goes on further complaining saying that she has worked hard her whole life and now some homeless guy wants to take her money. Then I saw a bunch of people posting how she is right and 'liking' the status.

I was considering responding, but I don't know her well-enough to call her out. I come from a south-asian culture where this would be considered selfish way of thinking (India). To me, one of the goals of humanity is to help each-other overcome and survive first and foremost. I mean I work hard too, but I would never hesitate to give a couple dollar to somebody that will help provide them one meal. I'm lucky to have good college education with good family (yes, my dad also works his ass off into his late 50's but he would never hesitate to help some homeless person). Helping others is the right thing to do for me.

Am I hanging out with the wrong crowd or is this truly the thought-process of most Americans? I do not have a huge friend circle, and I simply live in a small city in NJ. Am I wrong in being alarmed by all the 'likes' and posts by others agreeing with her? Is it a western culture thing?

Forward her message to Reddit. Right now, she is getting responses from her like-minded friends and other friends that don't agree don't want to call her out on a public forum. If you post it to Reddit, the rest of the internet may put her in her place for you.

[32jazz]

Honestly, I'm more concerned with all her friends agreeing with her than her specifically. I don't want this thread to become an attack on her - I just was wondering if this sort of thinking is something that is widespread in USA/western culture. More of a discussion than anything

Well there is this strong belief among many in the USA of the Horatio Alger myth(everyone can pull themselves up by the boot straps & make it with hard work/honesty,etc...).

In other words there is a segment in the U.S.(especially those with Conservative leanings ) with little to no sympathy for the homeless, those who rely on public assistance,etc......
They never fail to bore us with their (or others) 'rags to riches' (or mediocrity) story of how hard they work,study, sacrifice,etc......... to become successful.


Yes. This is widespread thinking in the U.S.( "I made it from nothing, immigrants have made it from nothing so why can't those people? What's there problem?" )

The thinking is widespread, but the open or bold cruelty/hostility to homeless is not.

[Nick Young]

Well there is this strong belief among many in the USA of the Horatio Alger myth(everyone can pull themselves up by the boot straps & make it with hard work/honesty,etc...).

In other words there is a segment in the U.S.(especially those with Conservative leanings ) with little to no sympathy for the homeless, those who rely on public assistance,etc......
They never fail to bore us with their (or others) 'rags to riches' (or mediocrity) story of how hard they work,study, sacrifice,etc......... to become successful.


Yes. This is widespread thinking in the U.S.( "I made it from nothing, immigrants have made it from nothing so why can't those people? What's there problem?" )

The thinking is widespread, but the open or bold cruelty/hostility to homeless is not.

In contrast, UK and many other European states do not have this level of work ethic and belief that they can make it from a young age, and that has lead to a lazy generation scrounging and freeloading off the socialized benefits system where people are saying shit like "I can't afford to work" because they get paid more to do nothing then they do to work at a shoe shop or Mcdonalds.

Most people who are homeless have some sort of mental illness. They aren't there because they tried everything else and got screwed over by the system.

That is the reason why many SIMPLY IGNORE SOUP KITCHENS AND SHELTERS. If you were mentally with it, the logical thing to do instead of beg on the streets is to seek free housing at a homeless shelter and eat the free soup provided.

[32jazz]

I would wonder how they got in that position and how they can be satisfied with being out in that shitty whether.

But I wouldn't give them money.

Funny that I often wonder the same thing when I see a 'homeless' or 'down on his luck' person & spent my entire drive home wondering about a guy I had given $2 to earlier this week.

What happened in his life? Drugs? Mental illness? A felony or something stupid when he was young ? Where is his family? Could my life possibly end up this out of control? Someone I love?


Everyone reserves the right to give or not to give to a 'down & out person' ,but being openly cruel/hostile is ignorant.

[Nick Young]

Funny that I often wonder the same thing when I see a 'homeless' or 'down on his luck' person & spent my entire drive home wondering about a guy I had given $2 to earlier this week.

What happened in his life? Drugs? Mental illness? A felony or something stupid when he was young ? Where is his family? Could my life possibly end up this out of control? Someone I love?


Everyone reserves the right to give or not to give to a 'down & out person' ,but being openly cruel/hostile is ignorant.

What if the guy you give money to uses that money to buy crack or whiskey.

He is never going to change it up-if its as easy as asking random people in the street for your next fix, how is anyone ever going to get out of their addiction cycle? In this case, giving that random homeless guy is only feeding his addiction. You are basically paying your own money to worsen his situation and keep him on the streets.

If the guy is asking for money for food, I used to not mind offering to buy him a sandwich but most of the time the homeless people would turn it down and say no. bullshit.

If it gives you a sense of moral superiority to give homeless people money though so you can look down on people who don't, by all means keep on doing it. Just don't fool yourself into thinking your money is helping to fix the problem or better that homeless person's life.

[32jazz]

What if the guy you give money to uses that money to buy crack or whiskey.


If it gives you a sense of moral superiority to give homeless people money though so you can look down on people who don't, by all means keep on doing it. Just don't fool yourself into thinking your money is helping to fix the problem or better that homeless person's life.

Quote me were I said anything other than it is an individuals choice to give or not to give you idiot. I only criticized a person who felt the need to curse out/mistreat a homeless person. I don't care what you or she does with your money & you shouldn't' care what I do with mine.


You said in an earlier post that most homeless have mental illness so I don't understand why you would applaud/encourage someone to verbally abuse or demean mentally ill people on the street. Why do you think it's cool to mistreat mentally sick people? And I am certain MENTALY Ill people don't always have the capacity to make use of programs for homeles/down & out because they are MENTALLY ill perhaps?

Me giving or not giving isn't going cure his mental illness nor the homeless problem , but I do think all people deserve to be treated with some humanity. Again. Quote me where I criticized someone for not giving to someone.


I can give you a LONG list of wealthy people who were once homeless ,struggling or down & out, but unlike you I don't judge or feel the need to mistreat them.


So what if he purchased Whiskey or Coke? Maybe I helped to ease his pain that day. Matter of fact I have given money to known drunks & addicts(some in my family). What business is it yours what I do with my money?

What if he put the $2 in his car & drove around looking for work? I don't know nor do I care what he did with it, but I only care that people treat others with a little dignity.

[Nick Young]

Quote me were I said anything other than it is an individuals choice to give or not to give you idiot. I only criticized a person who felt the need to curse out/mistreat a homeless person. I don't care what you or she does with your money & you shouldn't' care what I do with mine.


You said in an earlier post that most homeless have mental illness so I don't understand why you would applaud/encourage someone to verbally abuse or demean mentally ill people on the street. Why do you think it's cool to mistreat mentally sick people? And I am certain MENTALY Ill people don't always have the capacity to make use of programs for homeles/down & out because they are MENTALLY ill perhaps?

Me giving or not giving isn't going cure his mental illness nor the homeless problem , but I do think all people deserve to be treated with some humanity. Again. Quote me where I criticized someone for not giving to someone.


I can give you a LONG list of wealthy people who were once homeless ,struggling or down & out, but unlike you I don't judge or feel the need to mistreat them.


So what if he purchased Whiskey or Coke? Maybe I helped to ease his pain that day. Matter of fact I have given money to known drunks & addicts(some in my family). What business is it yours what I do with my money?

What if he put the $2 in his car & drove around looking for work? I don't know nor do I care what he did with it, but I only care that people treat others with a little dignity.

If the sense of moral superiority helps you to feel good about yourself, by all means carry on doing what you do

[32jazz]

If the sense of moral superiority helps you to feel good about yourself, by all means carry on doing what you do

And if you need to curse out or mistreat(or applaud it) mostly mentally ill people on the street to uplift your miserable existence then so be it.

I will quote or paraphrase myself again before you rudely hijacked a nice /interesting thread:

"Everyone reserves a right to give or not to give to someone homeless or a person down on his luck, but to mistreat these people (who are mentally ill perhaps) is ignorant"-32jazz

No way ,no how can a reasonable person come to the conclusion that a quote like that in any way shows some sense of moral superiority.

I personally know /related to drunks(have drank with them), addicts & mentally ill people & I'm under no delusion that I can solve these peoples problems.However I tend not to make sweeping judgements of struggling people I do not know nor do I mistreat them or encourage others to.

[BoutPractice]

You have no obligation to give (otherwise there's no reason why you would only be obligated to give that amount, to that person, at that specific moment - if you give, it has to be a choice, and that choice says something positive about you), but at least treat the man with respect.