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By Don Ellis

"Now there's a steal by Bird... underneath to DJ... lays it in!!!"

That may not be exactly the way famed Celtics' play-by-play man Johnny Most called Isiah Thomas' game (and series)-losing inbounds pass in the 1987 Eastern Conference Finals, but it's close enough for this column.

My simple point is that Larry Bird ruined Zeke's day back then, and he ruined it again last week. This time, the hick from French Lick dismissed Thomas from his job as head coach of the Pacers.

This move didn't really seem to surprise anyone, however - except for Pacer big man Jermaine O'Neal. See, when JO signed a 7-year contract extension with Indy this summer, he was promised by the Pacer organization that Thomas would be his coach. Several times, in fact, if you believe O'Neal (and there is no reason not to).

It's easy to see why Larry Legend gave Zeke the boot. When a team has a pair of All-Stars (O'Neal and Brad Miller) and the best perimeter defender on the planet (Ron Artest) as their starting front-court and they still can't get out of the first round of the playoffs, they are obviously underachieving. But I'm not sure that lying to your best player is the way to go; unless, of course, you think that said player isn't worth the maximum-salary contract you just gave him.

I'm sure the Pacer organization didn't want to see O'Neal sign with the Spurs over the summer while they got nothing in return, but maybe they plan to trade O'Neal for a more Rick Carlisle-friendly big man?

Between Larry Bird's return, Ron Artest's psychosis, Reggie Miller running around on no legs, and O'Neal missing Isiah, it should be a very interesting season in Naptown.

USA! USA! USA!

After last year's fiasco at the World Basketball Championships, the American players bucked up this year and dominated the Olympic Qualifying Tournament, going 10-0 and beating Argentina twice, including a 106-73 victory in the gold medal game.

The world may be catching up to us Americans in basketball, but it is still way behind. Simply put, if we send our best players to international tournaments, no country can beat us. As good as this summer's National Team was, it still didn't have Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, or Chris Webber- not to mention the most dominant basketball force on the planet (when he's in shape, that is).

WHERE'S MJ?

Michael Jordan was the greatest player of his generation. And while he did manage to trade away some really ugly contracts, his skills as a general manager were lousy enough for Wizards' owner Abe Pollin to run him out of DC. And he was apparently so untrustworthy as a potential owner that Herb Kohl wouldn't sell him the Bucks.

So what's up with MJ?

And why isn't he working in the NBA?

The deadline for Jordan taking a job with the expansion Charlotte Bobcats has passed, and MJ is still unemployed. Right after taking over for Jerry Krause late last season, Bulls GM John Paxson said that MJ has a job with the Bulls whenever he is ready to accept it. The NBA season is less than two months away, and MJ is still unemployed. Not retired; unemployed. Why?

MJ's huge ego must be hurting right about now. He was handed the reigns to an NBA team, like he always knew he would be, yet even his presence on the court couldn't get the team he assembled into the playoffs in the junior-varsity NBA East. Now, not one NBA team will offer MJ a job he deems worthy of his "stature."

MAILBAG

- What are you saying man? Tim Floyd is going to surprise everyone this year with his hard work and determination to change his reputation as a "wanna be" on the NBA level. There is no way in hell that he could ever be half as bad as he was in Chicago. -C.J. in New Orleans

Well C.J., it would be hard for "Pink" Floyd to be as bad as he was in Chicago - he posted the worst winning percentage for any NBA coach in history when he was with the Bulls, and that will be a very hard mark to beat. People will tell you that he had no players in Chicago, but Pink managed to lose big-time with Elton Brand, Brad Miller and Ron Artest on his roster. Greg Anthony played for Floyd in Chicago, and he openly stated that Pink had no playbook. What more do you need to know? Maybe that de-frocked Iowa State coach Larry Eustachy is one of his close friends, and that he just hired quitter/former St. Bonaventure head coach Jan van Breda Kolff as one of his assistants?

- I was wondering how are Juwan Howard and Drew Gooden going to co-exist in the same front court. Both of them are power forwards. -Shawn in Chicago

Gooden has already volunteered to play center if needed, and since most Eastern Conference teams play power forwards at the center position, I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Drew is the Magic's starting center on opening night. But both Gooden and Howard can play some small forward in case Magic coach Doc Rivers wants to play a big line-up featuring Gooden, Howard and Andrew DeClercq in the frontcourt.

Thanks for reading, and send your questions and/or comments to dellis@bullsnews.net. Please include your name and hometown if you want your question answered in the column.